(Photo by KMazur/WireImage for Hot 97)

“WRITE THIS DOWN — M, A, R, S, Mars, bitches, that’s where we are going, Mars, RED ROCKS,” Black Bush

2004 was questionable. While Dave Chappelle signed on for season 2 of the Chappelle Show, the real Bush, George W., began his second presidential term. Meanwhile, a PED-laced David Ortiz led the Boston Red Sox to an improbable 4 straight win in the ALCS against their rival Yankees. The Red Sox went on to sweep the Cardinals in the World Series, ending an 86-year championship drought.

The master of doping, Lance Armstrong won a personal-best five stages and his sixth consecutive Tour de France. Even the queen of “how to,” Martha Stewart, couldn’t keep her hands clean. After lying to federal investigators, Stewart was sentenced to five months in prison. Appropiately, she left her stint in a private jet. 

Fortunately, corruption and cheating didn’t steal all the headlines. Athens, Greece became the setting for the beginning of the most decorated Olympian’s career. In his first games, American swimmer, Michael Phelps, took home 6 gold medals while setting the record from most medals won at a single Games with 8 in total.

Stateside, for the first time, gas prices averaged over $2 a gallon! In a panic, Americans were looking for new ways to budget. Luckily the biggest trend-setting industry, hip-hop, came up with a solution. “Great news! I just saved a ton of money on my wardrobe by switching to white tees,” according to Robert Watson. You must be wondering, who is Robert Watson? He is a reporter from Atlanta, GA. Still not ringing a bell? He does the cold opening to the iconic 2004 hit “White Tee” by Dem Franchize Boyz.

Time to dig into your closet and unveil the XXXL white tee that nearly touched your ankles. Yes, Dem Franchize Boys, as well as Dipset, popularized one of the worst fashion trends in hip-hop.

Summer Jam 2004 should have been a victory lap for 50 Cent and G-Unit. However, 50 pivoted and turned Summer Jam into open mic at the Apollo Theatre. Introducing the “Grannie Awards.” Projected on the iconic jumbo Tron, the awards honored Lil’ Kim for the “Most Plastic Surgery,” while Ja Rule, Joe Budden, and Murda Inc.’s Black Child were a three-way tie for “Wackest Rapper.” 50 also mocked another headliner, R. Kelly, performing a bit of “I Believe I Can Fly,” while pretending to urinate. He performed a few hits, but his set was cut short after a chair was hauled on stage. 

A newcomer by the name of Kanye West stole the show. Backed by a gospel choir, Kanye delivered his self-deprecating lines, giving the audience something to actually laugh at: “Couldn’t afford a car so she named her daughter A-lexus.”

Other performances include Lil Jon, Big Boi, Alicia Keys, Chingy, Jadakiss, Ludacris, and the Ying Yang Twins.